Only Love Remains

“For better or worse, in sickness and in health until death do you part” were the words in to which my parents said “I Do” to each other August 23, 1958.  These were the common vows 57 years ago.  They have been replaced with “I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”  This “newer” version is the vow Brian and I pledged to each other in 1985 and I believe they more closely reflect the covenant of the Sacrament of Marriage.  For while death parted my parents on December 26, 2014; my father’s love for my mother has not diminished in the least and he continues to honor her daily.  The love and honor he carries in his heart for his Rosie will last all the days of his life.

This is another rough day for my family and we are blessed enough by God to be celebrating this day together in the home of my sister who lives in New York.  While we gather to celebrate the 16^th birthday of my niece, we will honor and remember the day our parents left their homes and became one. 

Our parents took their marriage vows very seriously.  In good times and in bad, they held on to each other and I believe they remained in love because they kept God the Father, Son and Spirit as the third person in their marriage.  They took seriously the sacramental bond of man and woman united in love by God and their love grew with the grace of God.  I will be forever grateful for their example of Christian love and sacramental marriage. 

The sacramental love my parents had for each other is the love that has been keeping my Dad going these past eight months.  It is the love that gave him the strength to care for his Rosie as she lay dying and it is the love that gave my Mom the strength to surrender to her John and allow him to care for her very basic human needs.  I can remember saying to my Dad that I was so sorry he had to watch the love of his life struggle and he said “well, we said for better or worse; I guess this is the worse.”  Oh what love is this!  Love that is patient and kind, love that bears no record of wrong, love that remains!  He carries that love with him every day as he learns to live life with Mom in heaven and he waits until he will be united with her again. 

Love does not brood.  Dad is courageously moving forward even though it is difficult to be separated by this earthly plane.  He knows without a doubt that there will be a day in which he will be reunited with his Rosie and on that day the church bells will once again ring out, just as they tolled to mark the sacramental union of my parents, just as they tolled to mark Mom’s entry into the Promised Land.  Oh what love is this, love that is strong enough to wait for God to bring forth the light. 

So for all of you love birds out there who, like my Daddy, must spend your wedding anniversary here on earth while the love of your life waits for you in heaven, take courage in this steadfast love.  Be strengthened by the certain hope that you will be reunited with your love when Jesus calls you home.  May you feel the presence of that love on your special day.

Enjoy this song by Michael James Mette who will be coming to St. William on August 30 for a “Sharing Faith Through Music” Concert.

When We Leave Earth:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDRwPwoRxQI&list=PLi_umedfYxvXP6OEVlAglx9bUZk5Ckvbz&index=9

Shalom,

Tina

Community

St. William celebrated a wonderful family meal today at our annual Parish Picnic.  As usual, Father Balash had the perfect homily . . . reminding us of the open invitation Jesus offers us every day to come to his table and share in the sacred meal of the Eucharist. 

I personally was very emotional today at Mass, for when my Anna walked into the worship space, it shot right to my heart that this was our last Mass together before she goes off to college.  My Anna, who many of you blessed as she was carried around the church on her baptism day, will be leaving Tuesday for Loyola Chicago.  It dawned on me that I will not have the chance until next summer to listen to her as she proclaims the Word of the Lord.  Oh, it hit me hard.  I love to hear her tell Christ’s story.  Then Father had to go and talk about Eucharist and I thought . . . oh no . . .after the family Mass at Loyola I will not be able to share the Eucharistic meal with her until she comes home for Thanksgiving!  Oh boy . . .I was in trouble.  If you were at Mass today, now you know why I started on the wrong chord for the Communion song . . . I was a mess inside.

The picnic has always been such a fun event for our family.  I remember when the children were little and they would get soaked by fire truck.  Back then the children got to sit up in the truck and the truck would drive them around in the parking lot.  It was always the highlight of the day!  I am so grateful that this simple tradition remains as part of our day.  Seeing these young children soaking wet brought back so many wonderful memories for me.

So, thank you my Saint William family for helping me get through a tough Sunday.  As I sit here sharing my thoughts with you, my Anna is finishing up her packing.  I am enjoying being in her presence, my heart is over being sad and I look forward to traveling to Chicago and spending three days helping her get settled in, going to orientation, and then the highlight of the festivities, celebrating the Sacred Liturgy with her in the beautiful Loyola chapel. 

My prayer for Anna and all of our graduates of the Class of 2015 as they spread their wings to college,

 "… Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed,

 for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."                                Joshua 1:9

Stay safe and go forth to proclaim the gospel with your life!

Shalom,

Tina

Regeneration

After a busy weekend, I finally made it to the Lake!  The harsh winter, stormy spring and summer has taken its toll on the shores of Lake Erie.  It is astounding how much the beach has eroded.  The day I arrived, the wind was fierce on the bay side; so much so that the waves were slapping over the back dock and we could feel the spray all the way over on the house deck.  In contrast, the lake was as still as glass.  So much of the beach has been washed away that even the roots of trees, once unseen under layers of sand, are jutting out precariously throughout what remains of the beach.  Some of the roots are sticking up out of the sand with jagged edges; a danger to any barefoot beach-goer.  A ledge has now been formed making the drastic change in the beach ever more apparent.

As I sat viewing how battered the beach looked, I could not help thinking that this is how life is at times, and it is certainly a reflection of the life I have lived this past year.  Storms in life come and go and the constant force of trial and sadness can slowly peel away the person you once were.

I am writing this on my second morning here . . . the first morning that I was able to be at the beach by myself.  The winds have changed; the bay had calmed and the lake is once again moving.  As I sat facing the rising sun I kept asking myself, who is the woman that I have become this year.  Even now as I type I am facing my reflection in the sliding glass door . . . ten pounds heavier than last year at this time when I left the lake to meet my family at the Cleveland Clinic for Mom’s appointment with the head of the spinal surgical unit . . .  reflecting on how I have been changed by the storm called ALS.  This storm battered my mother; eroded away her ability to use her body until her lungs could no longer expel the carbon dioxide, thereby leaving toxins behind, much like the dangerous roots sticking out of the sand, just waiting to do more damage to the innocent person walking along the beach.

With these heavy thoughts weighing down my heart, I sat there praying for regeneration and lightheartedly thought of Dr. Who.  For those who may not know; Dr. Who is a television series about a time-traveler.  Every once in a while, Dr. Who regenerates – light bursts forth from him and he takes on a new image (well, a new actor usually.)  Being the Christian that I am, I always think when this happens that perhaps that is what we may look like when God calls us back home and we shed this earthly vessel so that our soul can return to God.

So, I made my way out of the chair to stand and meditate before God.  I focused on the word I chose while on retreat at Villa Maria, faced the rising sun and listened to God speak to me through the sound of the water, the feel of the wind and the singing of the birds.  Warmed not only by the rising sun, I felt embraced by the ever present SON.  My peace of mind is restored and I am once again as calm as the lake on the day I arrived, humbled in the sight of the Lord.

“Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord.  Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord, and he will lift you up; higher and higher and he will lift you up.” James 4:10

I pray that you find rest in God through life’s storms; though battered and torn, regeneration can be found in arms of the Holy One!

Shalom,

Tina

The Desert

From the Heart . . .

Recently Father Balash spoke about the desert in his homily.  As he talked of the desert being filled with things that bite and burn and sting I could not help but feel that this is exactly where I am right now – in the desert.  The sting of death has burned a hole in my heart and I wonder if it will ever be full again.  I find myself withdrawing inward much like Jesus withdrew to the desert to enjoy quiet time with God.

The more I reflect on Jesus praying in the desert and my current journey in the desert of my heart, I am gaining a new awareness of the power of prayer.  I have spent a lifetime turning to God but none of what I have experienced holds a candle to how I have clung to God these past several months as I watched my beautiful mother as she lay dying.  I cannot find words to describe the inner peace that comes when one surrenders all that they are to God.

Father Balash described the desert also as a place of life, for in the coolness of evening, desert flowers bloom and creatures come out of their hiding, no longer in fear of the blistering sun.  It made me think of my little Christmas cactus, a gift given to me years ago by a student.  While that cactus has not bloomed every Christmas, I remember how it bloomed the year my son and daughter-in-law were expecting their first child and low and behold, that cactus bloomed this year.  It was a vivid reminder to me that life goes on.  Those beautiful pink flowers reminded me that the life which awaits us is so much more than what we have experienced here on earth.

Father reminded me that I am not alone in this desert . . . Jesus paved the way for me . . . Jesus went there first, and he stands right alongside me as the hole in my heart is filled with visions of everlasting life.  When I vision my beautiful mother in the arms of the holy one I realize there is no sting in death after all.

#jesusopenedthegates #heisalive #iamforgiven

Shalom,

Tina