Regeneration

After a busy weekend, I finally made it to the Lake!  The harsh winter, stormy spring and summer has taken its toll on the shores of Lake Erie.  It is astounding how much the beach has eroded.  The day I arrived, the wind was fierce on the bay side; so much so that the waves were slapping over the back dock and we could feel the spray all the way over on the house deck.  In contrast, the lake was as still as glass.  So much of the beach has been washed away that even the roots of trees, once unseen under layers of sand, are jutting out precariously throughout what remains of the beach.  Some of the roots are sticking up out of the sand with jagged edges; a danger to any barefoot beach-goer.  A ledge has now been formed making the drastic change in the beach ever more apparent.

As I sat viewing how battered the beach looked, I could not help thinking that this is how life is at times, and it is certainly a reflection of the life I have lived this past year.  Storms in life come and go and the constant force of trial and sadness can slowly peel away the person you once were.

I am writing this on my second morning here . . . the first morning that I was able to be at the beach by myself.  The winds have changed; the bay had calmed and the lake is once again moving.  As I sat facing the rising sun I kept asking myself, who is the woman that I have become this year.  Even now as I type I am facing my reflection in the sliding glass door . . . ten pounds heavier than last year at this time when I left the lake to meet my family at the Cleveland Clinic for Mom’s appointment with the head of the spinal surgical unit . . .  reflecting on how I have been changed by the storm called ALS.  This storm battered my mother; eroded away her ability to use her body until her lungs could no longer expel the carbon dioxide, thereby leaving toxins behind, much like the dangerous roots sticking out of the sand, just waiting to do more damage to the innocent person walking along the beach.

With these heavy thoughts weighing down my heart, I sat there praying for regeneration and lightheartedly thought of Dr. Who.  For those who may not know; Dr. Who is a television series about a time-traveler.  Every once in a while, Dr. Who regenerates – light bursts forth from him and he takes on a new image (well, a new actor usually.)  Being the Christian that I am, I always think when this happens that perhaps that is what we may look like when God calls us back home and we shed this earthly vessel so that our soul can return to God.

So, I made my way out of the chair to stand and meditate before God.  I focused on the word I chose while on retreat at Villa Maria, faced the rising sun and listened to God speak to me through the sound of the water, the feel of the wind and the singing of the birds.  Warmed not only by the rising sun, I felt embraced by the ever present SON.  My peace of mind is restored and I am once again as calm as the lake on the day I arrived, humbled in the sight of the Lord.

“Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord.  Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord, and he will lift you up; higher and higher and he will lift you up.” James 4:10

I pray that you find rest in God through life’s storms; though battered and torn, regeneration can be found in arms of the Holy One!

Shalom,

Tina