Wonder!

Hello friends!  I hope that you have enjoyed these weeks of summer.  I have enjoyed a few weeks off to spend time with my family and escape into summer reading!  In July, a group of us gathered to share our thoughts about the book Wonder by R.J. Palacio.  I highly recommend this book, especially for those of you who have children or grandchildren.

As a mother of five, one thing that really got to me in the book is how one of the characters felt kind of invisible compared to her brother who was born with a facial abnormality.  It really made me wonder how I may neglect my own children as I tend to the needs of their siblings, not to mention my insatiable desire to serve God’s people.  I wonder how I make others feel when I am so focused on completing a task that I fail to acknowledge someone right in front of me.  It reminded me how vital it is to make every person feel loved and important every day!

Wonder was a beautiful reminder to me of unconditional love which is possible when we look beyond what the eye can see.  When we see people with our heart we are able to see what lies within which gives us a glimpse of the face of God, for he is imprinted in each of our hearts.  Wonder reminded me that

^“ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.   It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.   Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails”.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I am sure that you have heard the saying, “you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression.”  This is a saying that I have always taken to heart in regards to my own actions.  I strive to be my best self when meeting people for the first time, however, I do not always guard my words and actions.  I fail to be the face of Christ 24/7.  Anyone else feel that way?  R.J. Palacio really challenged me in Wonder to guard my words; to think before I speak.  I made the mistake again just yesterday by saying something that I should not have said and I looked around to see who may have heard me.  I hope that if anyone heard my less than nice comment that they give me a second chance to make a first impression!  I hope that I can remember to do the same for others.  What would the world be like if we could each remember that “love does not dishonor others.”  I wonder!

Shalom,

Tina

They Say

Back in April I was lucky enough to take students from Kennedy to a leadership conference in Chicago called "We Day" which was sponsored by Me to We at the All State Arena.  Over 10,000 teens were empowered to make a positive change in themselves and the world.  In preparation for the event, All State began a marketing initiative entitled #theysayproject.  I highly recommend a Google search so that you can hear more about #theysay.......... All State wanted to hear from teens what they felt others had to say about them, in a sense, how do they feel profiled by others.  I wore that t-shirt recently and a woman asked me what it was all about and it made me remember some of the things that I learned when I did my own Google search of the project.

In the gospel, we hear Jesus ask "who do you say that I am."  While Father was talking with us about that conversation between Jesus and The disciples, it also made me think of the #theysayproject for They began filling in the hashtag . . . .#theysayJeremiah, #theysayElijah, #theysayagreatprophet.  Even Jesus was profiled based on his behavior.  This has been on my mind quite a bit lately because I am having my own insecurity issues with how I am perceived by others.  Like many other times in my life that Gospel story came just at the time when I needed to hear it, reminding me once again that Jesus always has the answer that I need to hear.

In deeper reflection, I could not help but think about how I may profile others.  After Jesus asked who do #theysay, he asked who do #yousayIam!  This reminds me how my response to others may make them feel.  Words and actions have such a powerful influence on others and the way that others feel about themselves.  In short, I realize that my words can either build another up or tear them down.  I wonder if Jesus asked this question because he was feeling discouraged or if the question was more for Peter's benefit.  After all, Jesus was human and very possibly could have had moments of discouragement and self-doubt.  I wonder.

I certainly have moments of self-doubt and it seems that when this happens to me, as it did in the days preceding hearing this Gospel story, my God puts in my path others to build me up #theysaydonotbediscouraged, #theysayyouarebeingthehandsofChrist, #theysaykeepupthegoodwork.  I am once again refreshed and renewed to continue answering Christ's call to be a servant to others because I allow these positive words to drown out the negative words thrust my way.

Always remember the power of your words.  Use them to build instead of destroy.  Times when you may be torn down from what #theysay about you, turn to the good news and listen to what God has to say to you.  Open the Gospels and hear what Jesus himself has to say and be strengthened by the power of those words!  Hear this #theysayIamabeatifulchildofGod!

Shalom,

Tina

Editor’s Note:  Searching for hashtags (what used to be called a pound sign, a tick-tac-toe grid, or a sharp in music back in the old-days) is very easy.  Simply open up a search engine of your choice such as Google and type in the hashtag and the string of letters/words following it…no spaces or capital letters.  For example, Tina has suggested that you search #theysay (this reads: hashtag they say).  The results of the search will collect everything (and I mean everything) that is labeled with #theysay.  You will see tweets, Facebook posts, pictures, videos, etc.  One thing to keep in mind is that anyone can use hashtags and sometimes they are abused or misused.  Enjoy!

Recently I enjoyed a presentation at our Women’s Guild meeting on the life of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton.  Being a Catholic Educator, I have always had a soft spot in my heart for Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton but I never studied her story.  I just knew that she was the first American born saint and that she was passionate about the Catholic School movement in America, especially to provide Catholic

education to the poorest of the poor.  Elizabeth had a heart for children and established the first American parish school and the first American Catholic orphanage.  Listening to the speaker share with us how important it was to Mother Seton that children have access to Catholic education I could not help but think of the current state of affairs of Catholic education in both Catholic Schools and Parish Religious Education programs.

In the face of another Catholic school closing, I am so proud to be a member of St. William Parish!  Our foremothers and forefathers valued Catholic education, and while our parish did not form a school as was the original plan, our parish has a long and solid history of supporting the local Catholic School.  It never seemed to matter how many of our parishioners attended the school – what mattered was that Catholic education was available to all children.  Thank you for supporting the thousands of students who have received Catholic education over the past 53 years even though only a few hundred of those students were our very own.

There was a time in the history of the United States when Catholic families valued Catholic education; whether that meant sending their child to Catholic School or faithfully attending Parish School Religion. At the heart of the life of the Catholic family was the celebration of liturgy.  Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton had a tremendous devotion to the Eucharist.  She came to understand through her own education and life experience that Jesus Christ was indeed present in the Eucharist and that once she received the Sacrament that she was strengthened to be the body of Christ for others.  Her love of the Eucharist gave her strength to open herself to the will of God.  WOW!  

My friends, we need the heart of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton!  We Catholic mothers and fathers need to unite and bring God back to the heart of the family, for it is clear that the average Catholic family does not value Catholic education or the celebration of the liturgy. This is painfully evident in the empty seats of our classrooms and churches and boarded up schools and parishes.

Elizabeth took on the battle of fighting for her new found faith as a Catholic.  It cost her the love of her family and friends.  To her, the sacrifice was worthy and paled in comparison to the cost that Jesus paid for our freedom.  I challenge you with the question . . . what is the sacrifice worth to you?  Is the sacrifice worth standing up to your child’s coach or dance teacher; is it worth putting up with the groaning of your teenager; is it worth spending one hour to honor God on the Sabbath?  What is the sacrifice of Christ worth to you?

Let us ask Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton to intercede on our behalf and pray that we will be open to the will of God and be faithful to the command of Christ to “go and teach all nations.”  Let us begin in our own home!

Lord God, you blessed Elizabeth Seton with gifts of grace as wife and mother, educator and foundress, so that she might spend her life in service to your people. Through her example and prayers may we learn to express our love for you in love for our fellow men and women. We ask this through Christ our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.                                                 Catholic.org

Shalom,

Tina

For further reading:  http://americamagazine.org/issue/747/article/catholic-schools-we-need

Well, we survived our second Mother’s Day with my mother living in heaven.  My sisters, daughter and I spent a fun day with my Dad and I found myself ever grateful to be surrounded by loving family.  I found comfort as always in the words of God . . .

“May the eyes of your hearts be enlightened, that you may know what is the hope that belongs to his call, what are the riches of glory in his inheritance among the holy ones, and what is the surpassing greatness of his power for us who believe.”

                                                                                                Ephesians 1:18-20

Think for a minute of the “surpassing greatness of his power for us who believe” in the context of the early Christians.  They witnessed their beloved suffer and die.  They swaddled him in burial cloth and laid his body to rest.  And yet, on the third day he stood before them in the flesh as they clung to each other in the upper room.  Having experienced the greatness of his power, they would certainly know the meaning of hope!  That hope carried them through as Jesus ascended into heaven and they shared that hope with others.  It is that same hope which enlightens our eyes and hearts today.  We can be certain that the riches he promised us will indeed be experienced if we but follow his word and live in his love.

My prayer for you is that you may keep your eyes and hearts open to see the greatness of his power in others.  For when Christ went back to heaven, he made sure that we were gifted with the power of the spirit and left us the gift of Eucharist.  As we take in his body let us remember that as Christ becomes a part of us we must reflect Christ to others.  The greatness of his power must be spread through our eyes and hearts and hands and feet.  Let us be sure that all know the hope that belongs to his call.

Shalom,

Tina

Wait

I have been thinking lately about how much time I spend waiting and those thoughts naturally led to how many of us wait for a variety of things.  We wait for the birth of a child, or for a loved one to take their last breath.  We wait for medical test results – will this be cancer?  We wait for academic test results – will my ACT be good enough for the scholarship I hope to receive – will I pass this course – will my child pass their driving test – will my parent pass their driving test?  We wait for a child’s first tooth to come in and we wait for partials to be completed.  We wait in line for groceries and in the hope of gaining employment.  We wait for our parent to pick us up from school and we wait for the end of the work day so that we can be with our children.  We wait for the phone to ring in hopes that someone would just call to say hello.

The more I thought of all these things that fill our lives with wait and worry – I found myself drawn to the upper room.  Sometimes when I wait and worry it feels as if that darkness of the upper room encompasses my every thought and feeling.  It sometimes becomes so easy to allow the darkness of despair and hopelessness to rule my world.  I suspect that you may battle with that darkness just as I do at times. 

I cannot fathom what Mary and the eleven felt as they locked themselves in the darkness of the upper room.  Jesus was such a bright light in their world and such a source of hope.  That darkness must have been a crushing weight upon them.  We can relate to the weight of that darkness – but when we face that darkness with can know with certainty what the friends of Jesus could only wait for in hope.  We can enter darkness knowing that we are not abandoned!  Jesus is there in the darkness right along-side us – whispering our name and calling us to him.

So my friends, when you find yourself waiting and start to let that darkness surround you, remember to wait in hope – for HE is there!

The Promise by 4Him has often gotten me through times of waiting . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwS-p-n4Fco

Shalom,

Tina

His Presence

Oh – I have spent the past six Mondays “Awakening my Faith” with the most incredible group of people! As our time came to a close last evening, we listened to “The Eyes and Hands of Christ” by Tom Kendzia, and I commented how much they have been Christ’s presence to me over these past six weeks.  Being with others who share my love of Jesus Christ and hearing how they live out their baptismal promises was truly inspiring to me.  It got me thinking about how each of us make Christ present in the world through our acts of kindness and love toward each other.  This inspired me to write a little note to someone who has made Christ’s presence known to me. 

I often talk about “God’s time” and “little pockets of grace.”  After writing my note, I opened my email to find my daily 3 Minute Retreat from Loyola Press.  Alas – the topic of reflection this day is “We Are Christ’s Presence!”  God is always watching out for me!  I want to share with you part of the retreat reflection and I encourage you to visit Loyola Press.com to experience the 3 Minute Retreat (You can use the direct link provided on the News/Events Page of the St. William Champion website- http://www.stwilliamchampion.org/news-events.html)

These words affirm my experience of Christ and His Church.  I not only find myself describing our Holy Mass in much these same words, I find that I need to be broken open in order to make room for Christ to enter here!  I find myself being poured out as I struggle with being “the Body of Christ.”  This indeed is not easy work; no, it “is not passive.” As we enter into the Holy Triduum I am reminded how the physical body of Christ endured so much for me!  I am reminded how his hands took nails for me.  Knowing that makes it possible for me to reach my hand out to others.

I pray that you take time to celebrate these three holy days and remember that Christ has no body now but yours!

Shalom,

Tina

Sealed with The Spirit

On February 28 our youngest son was sealed by the spirit along with nine others young men and women of the church from St. William and young men and women of the church from St. Mary, Warren; St. Joseph, Mantua; St. Brendan, Youngstown; Our Lady of the Holy Rosary, Lowellville and St. Edward, Youngstown.

 

Nathan McCue affirming his faith
with his sponsor and Bishop Murray
2/28/16 at St. Columba Cathedral

As a sponsor for one of our young ladies, I was lucky enough to have a front row seat which enabled me to witness everyone one of these young men and women being sealed with the spirit.  It was a beautiful gift to be able to witness Bishop Murry signing their foreheads and shaking their hands to congratulate them for making this commitment to their faith.  As I watched each of these members of the young church approach the Bishop I could not help but wonder what God has in store for them as we sung out “Veni Sacte Spiritus” . . .Come Holy Spirit!  I can’t wait to see how they will continue to grow in faith and learn to become adult members of the church.

Now, I know I have shared with you before how I love the rituals of the Catholic Church!  The sights and sounds and smell!  I have to admit that I kind of freaked my son out a little bit because I kept smelling his forehead.  Even as I write these words I tear up and am covered with a chill that can only be the presence of the spirit with me!  This reminds me how we humans need tangible signs of God’s presence in our lives.  There is something about the smell of the chrism oil that brings me a sense of complete peace.  When I ponder that Christ himself was anointed with sacred oil I feel such a connection to him.  I am reminded that he loved me so much he became one of us.

The day after Confirmation, our Awakening Faith group gathered to explore the question, “Do I Really Need the Spirit?”  Oh – God’s timing that this session would fall the day after my sweet son was confirmed as: Nathan Charles Wolfgang!  Do I need the Spirit . . . A resounding YES!  One of the questions was “what powers you the most?”  Well, besides coffee, the first thing that came to my mind was the gift of working with the young church.  I am filled with wonder and awe as I watch young men and women come into ownership of their faith.  

This feeling was further affirmed for me yesterday as I listened to three previously confirmed young adults of St. William address the newly confirmed.  They shared what their faith has come to mean to them and how serving the church has brought them closer to God and brings them such joy in knowing that by answering God’s call, they are giving thanks to Him for the many gifts they have received.  

To quote Chandler,

     “God knows and loves us always, even when we do something wrong or let him down.  We are constantly showered in unconditional love.  Being involved in ministry makes me feel like I’m giving back for that love. We are all imperfect human beings, but we are also strong-willed and capable.  If we honor God for the sake of honoring him, we have already received every reward that matters in this life.  So I encourage you, give it a shot. Try anything, even if it’s just singing a little louder at Church on Sunday (and believe me, I’d appreciate that, too) or helping clean up the Church after a holiday.  Give a little back to the guy who gave us all.

     I hope that in my brief talk, you found something to relate to and take with you as you start your journey in the Church as adults.  I wish all of you the best of luck, love, and happiness.”

Thank you Olivia, Noah and Chandler for showing us the face of Christ!

May each of us be inspired by the challenge to “just give it a shot” and awaken our faith to serve our good and merciful God!

Shalom,

Tina

Broken

Have you ever felt broken in life or spread so thin that you don’t really know where you belong?  These feelings have been overwhelming me a little bit lately as I struggle with balancing full time work and family life.  As I type this, it kind of makes me feel a little bit ashamed because I have been so blessed throughout my life.  When I think of single mothers who work full time and struggle to put food on the table, I feel like a whimpering child and pray that God gives me the strength to snap out of it!!

When I take an honest look at the course of my life, I see a clear pattern of always trying to find balance between my desire to do for others and my desire to care for my own family.  I love my husband and children fiercely but if I am to be completely honest with myself, I realize that I put them on the back burner most of the time.  This fills me with such shame.  During this season of lent, it is this sin that I lay at the foot of the cross.

Lent is a time to search inward and see what patterns in our life draw us away from God.  This is a struggle for me because while I feel I serve God by serving others, I am equally neglecting those whom should come first in my life.  While one draws me toward God, the other pulls me away from God.  Have you ever felt this pull?  Please pray for me as I come to terms with patterns of selfishness and pride which put my need for serving others before serving my husband and children.  Today is my daughter’s 17^th birthday and I have filled it working in the morning, traveling to Cleveland to be with Brian and working in the evening.  I have heard it said that the best gift we can give someone is the gift of our presence.  While I prepared her birthday meal yesterday, today, I could not give her the smallest gift my presence.

You know, one song that keeps coming on the radio that I really need to hear is “Broken Together.”  It speaks of how while we are not perfect, the only way to get through life is being “broken together.”  It helps me cling on to hope that my family will love me in my brokenness – that they will know my love for them even when I am too busy to be present to them.  God I hope they know my love for them!

I pray that “God will help our broken hearts align.”

I pray that whatever pain you may be going through, that “healing may be spoken.”

Shalom,

Tina

One thing Catholics know how to do well is RITUAL!  Light the candle . . . burn the incense . . . dim the lights . . . center oneself . . . focus on prayer . . . I LOVE IT!   I walk into the sanctuary sometimes and just stop and breathe in the scent of the room and declare to myself . . . oh, I love being Catholic!

As you know, being Catholic is more than signs and ritual . . . it embodies Christ’s call to go out to the world and be his hands and feet.  One of my personal rituals has been turning the calendar.  Now, the past two years I have not honored this ritual, and it is something that I need to honor once again.  Oh, I would spend so much time choosing the calendar that we would use for the year – and interestingly enough, I have found that the themes I have chosen have indicated a maturity in myself.  When our children were little, I chose fun calendars . . . then switched to country folk art.  In my 40’s the themes were more about me – herbs, coffee, wine, psalms.  My 2015 and 2016 calendars have been the St. William Parish calendar.  As my mom lay dying, I just could not bring myself to purchase a calendar.  I did not want to face filling up those little squares without her.

Once the perfect calendar was chosen, I would carve out time to fill in the new calendar ~ often with a candle lit and a fresh cup of coffee or a nice Pinot in hand.  The first thing I would fill in is all the family birthdates, dates of death, Baptism, anniversary dates and as I wrote each name, I would think of them and smile as I wrote the age they would be turning.  Then I would tackle the events for each month – school – church – work – personal.  As I looked back upon the year, I would marvel on how we accomplished everything!  As I looked upon the nice clean squares waiting to be filled I would wonder what excitement would await us in this new year and I would look forward to those summer months when a few squares would be gloriously BLANK and think – oh – I am going to lay in the sun with a good book on that day!

I have saved most of the calendars over the past 31 years of married life.  It is fun to get them out sometimes for they mark the changes in our lives. Those little squares tell a story of how we choose to live.  For God tells us through scripture “where your treasure is, there shall your heart be also.”  I think the same hold true of the yearly calendar, for our yearly calendar certainly reflects a pattern of lives dedicated to God.

In this Year of Mercy, let us all try to fill our calendar with moments of sheltering the homeless, visiting the sick and imprisoned, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked and giving drink to the thirsty.  Let us remember every day to be the hands and feet of Christ.

Shalom,

Tina

Baptism

On this feast of the Baptism of our Lord, I can’t help but think of the baptism of my own children.  Yesterday, January 8, is the Baptism Day of our first born, Joshua.  It also happens to be our daughter-in-law’s birthday!  I wish I could have transported myself to North Carolina to celebrate Ashley’s 30^th birthday and Joshua’s 27^th Baptism day.

When our children were little, I tried to remember to do a little something extra on their Baptism day and I am sad to report that I have not held on to that tradition.  I am going to try harder this year to be sure to celebrate this important day in the life of my children.  I make it a point to transfer those dates year after year on the new calendar, but I have failed to properly celebrate the day that they became a member of God’s church. 

I could not wait to bring my children to the waters of baptism.  At the time when Joshua and Katherine were baptized, St. William only offered baptism after Mass, one Sunday a month.  When Deacon Harvey and Fr. Mike began to offer for children to be baptized during Mass we jumped at the opportunity because for us, this was a communal celebration.  I still get goose bumps when I close my eyes and remember my Anna, Elizabeth and Nathan being blessed by parishioners.  Anna was blessed by Joe Owens who was near to 100 years old at the time of her baptism!  Oh my goodness, I got so choked up!  I love to watch the faces of parents as they stand at the altar watching Father carry their child around the church for our blessings because I remember that incredibly powerful moment.  I will forever cherish gazing upon the faces of Josh and Ashley as they watched their first born, Addison, being blessed by our parish family!

Think about the awesome gift of Baptism – the opportunity to be wiped clean – to be claimed, by the sign of the cross, as a child for Christ, regardless of the age of a person when they are baptized.  As baptized Christians, we are each claimed for Christ “not because of any righteous deeds we had done
but because of his mercy, He saved us through the bath of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit”

Titus 3:5.

Scripture assures us that we are not only washed clean by the waters of baptism, but sealed by the fire of Holy Spirit, “He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.” Luke 3:16b As Catholics we celebrate this gift through the Sacrament of Confirmation.  Let us keep in our prayers the eleven young people of our parish who will be sealed the Spirit in February.  One of these young people is our youngest son, Nathan!  Being the youngest of five children, witnessing Nathan receive each of the sacraments has been especially meaningful to me, but that story is for another day . . .

For now, let us imagine that the words our Father spoke as His Son was baptized were also spoken on the day of our baptism . . .

“You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.”

                                                                                                            Luke 3:22b

Shalom,

Tina

Memories of Christmas 2014

Luke tells us that Mary “kept all these things in her heart.  And Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man.” Luke 2:52  I have been pondering this scripture verse quite a bit these past few days as I have been sorting through my memories of the past year ~ the first year of living without my mother on this earthly side of heaven.  This blog has been a vehicle through which I have been able to sort through my grief and I want you to know how thankful I am for the opportunity to share my thoughts concerning faith and spirituality, for this is the only lens through which I know how to view life.  As I have shared with you in the past, life experience is one of the ways in which we advance in wisdom and age.  With my Dad’s permission, I share with you some very intimate moments from the Christmas of 2014 because I know that many of you who will read this loved Rosie too!  If you are struggling through life, perhaps our experience can help you find favor with God.

December 19 and December 20 ~  My Mom was bound and determined despite her weakened state to have the Frazzini Italian Christmas feast of the 7 fishes in her home as it had been celebrated since her parents bought the home.  Sadly, I missed the celebration because I was celebrating with the McCue family.  I did have the honor though of playing “elf” for my Mom and chose cards for her to give her siblings, her nephews, her husband, her children.  I sat with her and watched her struggle with all of her might as she wrote what she knew would be her final words to her siblings.  Oh to watch that love and determination in her – what a gift it was to witness that love.  My sister, Roseann helped her with Dad’s and our sibling cards.  She asked Roseann to apply lipstick on her and she left her kiss on the card for Dad ~ such sweet love.

December 21 ~ I came home to find Mom in a more weakened state.  It soon became very clear to me that Mom may not make it to Christmas.  The next couple days are kind of a blur to me. 

December 23 ~ I remember leaving her home late one night to get my own Christmas shopping done, but to this day I have no idea what I purchased for my children.  I remember calling their lifelong friend, Father Zamary, to ask if he could concelebrate and give the homily at her funeral Mass.  I remember that I called my sister in New York and told her not to wait – she better get back as soon as possible. 

December 24 ~ I know that I tended my own little family on Christmas Eve, but I don’t remember what food I prepared.  I know that I sang at Mass.  I know that all I wanted to do was sit at her bedside. 

December 25 ~ I know that I hated the sound of the machine that we had to use to suction her.  I know that I stood by her side most of Christmas day using that damn machine.  We took turns massaging her lungs.  She insisted that we open Christmas gifts.  I still see the haunted look in her eye when she asked me to get everyone to hurry to open those gifts and I remember praying that God would just let her hold on – she would not want to leave us on this day – this day when love came down from heaven.

Now my sister, Roseann is the one who lives in New York and I have always referred to her as our “mystic.”  She puts together a prayer table that would shame the Vatican and she always thinks of everything!  She converted old home movies to DVD and we sat and watched those with Mom.    It brought such joy to all of us.  My brother, John, wrote a song for her and created a music video.  What a tribute!  We sang Christmas Carols– oh how she loved Christmas Carols!  Roseann wrote a beautiful poem to Mom and Dad and bought them a star – it is actually two stars that orbit around each other and she named it “Eternal Love.” 

December 26 ~ she looked at me with sad eyes and said no more machines.  I put it under the bed.

I called her siblings.  We broke out the hospice package.  I prayed to God that I could get ahold of a priest.  Dear Father McCarthy said he would stop by on his way home from visiting his family.  I prayed that it would not be too late.  It wasn’t – he came and we prayed around her.  It was so incredibly beautiful.  She was able to receive Eucharist – the bread that gave her life.  The family decided to bring in a hospice nurse.  I remember that she tried to get everyone to leave the room – I wasn’t very nice to her.  My mother wanted to be surrounded by all of us and that is the way it was going to be.  We did clear most people out of the room for a little while to eat, which gave me and my sisters some quiet time with Mom.  I felt the presence of my grandparents and my mom’s oldest brother.  We cleared away from the spot where I felt them.  Mom kept putting her hand out to that spot as if to hold their hand.  I started singing and as family started to come back upstairs, they joined in one by one.  It was the most precious moment.  Mom loved to hear us all sing and most of us felt it was great gift to her.  I remember kissing her feet and her hands.  I remember how every one of us took turns telling her what we would remember most about her – I sat and watched this and ponder it in my heart to this day – the look of love on her face.  She could not talk too much by this point but her eyes spoke volumes.  Then it was Dad’s turn and she was able to say that she loved him.  They had the sweetest kiss and embrace and in that moment her soul danced to heaven.

Father Conoboy heard our message from earlier in the day and despite the late hour just came over not knowing that she had just passed.  He blessed her earthly remains and prayed with us.  Everyone’s experience of her death will be different than mine; but looking at it through the eyes of faith, I cling to the words my Uncle spoke when he came to the house to say goodbye – “death where is thou sting.”  She looked beautiful and at peace and as my niece, daughter and I moved her earthly remains from the bed to the gurney I could not help but sing “Go forth Christian Soul.”  I kissed her sweet face and shrouded her; then we escorted her out and sang Amazing Grace as they took her away.

I thank you for allowing me to share these moments with you.  Throughout those last few months I called them “pockets of grace.”  When we face life’s most difficult challenges, it helps to find pockets of grace ~ moments that God provides to remind us that He is near.  If you ever feel as if God has abandoned you ~ please remember to look inward and find him ~ for He is there within you and within others that He sends to surround you with His love.  Thank you for surrounding me with the love of God!

Shalom,

Tina