Lighting the Candles of Mercy and Hope

Mercy – so freely offered to us through Christ our Lord.  As my faith has blossomed over the course of my life, I have found that it is easier and easier to offer mercy to others.  This has brought an incredible amount of peace to me.  For me, the key is to remember to look at another through the eyes of faith for when I am able to do that; no matter what harm I feel someone has done toward me, I am reminded that they carry the light of Christ within them and that we share the same human weakness.  When I see others through the eyes of faith, mercy comes easily and peace follows because then I am

able to do as Paul of Tarsus beckons “keep no record of wrong.”  Praying for mercy every day this past week gave me the strength to get through a very trying experience and I am ever grateful to my Lord for standing with me and for the Spirit which gave me the words to speak and the power to stomp down my human anger.

I really want to talk about hope with you.  I had a very tough time during Mass the Second Sunday of Advent.  Maranatha – oh how I long for Christ to come again so that I can see the face of my mother. 

I am writing this on Saturday, December 12 – Our Lady of Guadalupe.  It was one year ago today that I sat in a very small examining room with my mother and watched the screen as the Doctor examined her.  They were testing for muscle movement.  At the time I kept wondering why I wasn’t seeing any lines moving and the Doctor’s tone of voice became more and more gentle.  Then he got to her back and very quickly said, ok, I think that we have enough.  I thought – gosh – what the heck was this screen supposed to show – I saw very little movement.  I did not know at the time that they sent in the head of the ALS Clinic to examine my Momma.  Then it was time for the consultation.  My sweet

family all crowded into that small room and you could feel the hope each one carried with them but I knew we would not be hearing good news.  Hope left me at when I started to process what the absence of those lines on the monitor meant.  Hope left me when our own Doctor asked me to step out of the room for a private consultation.  Hope left me – me who always says “hope rises eternal” – when she said to me “it is bad – it is very bad – be sure to enjoy your Christmas.”  How was I supposed to tell my Father those words – how was I supposed to call the rest of my siblings and my mom’s siblings to tell them that our Momma’s time on this earth was coming to an end.  I will never forget the look on my mother’s face when she recognized that pain in my eyes.  My sweet Momma – apologizing to me for that pain.  Oh how darkness enveloped me that day.

God sent all his power to me on that ride home and I as slept ~ for the next day hope did rise eternal and strength was given as we celebrated her last birthday and her last Christmas – we celebrated her life!  Oh what an awesome God.  As I feel the weight of those memories every day the word of God give me hope:

Jerusalem, take off your robe of mourning and misery; put on the splendor of glory from God forever: wrapped in the cloak of justice from God, bear on your head the mitre
that displays the glory of the eternal name. For God will show all the earth your splendor: you will be named by God forever the peace of justice, the glory of God’s worship.                                                                                           Baruch 5:1-2

I live in hope every day waiting to see her again.  Maranatha – come now Lord Jesus.

                                                                 

Shalom,

Tina